weather vain - with chaelee dalton

from tinkering by Evelyn Landow

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lyrics

Tea kettle singing off the top of my head
The rain fell and flooded the watershed
In the shower I headed nowhere but the drain
I was the rain gauge, I was the weather vane

I make my body a pressure cooker, I turn to steam. I open my pores to be poured over. I pour out of myself like a tea kettle singing a song off the top of my head. When we knew each other I would press my hands into your back in the shower. In the shower I headed nowhere but the drain. The rain fell and flooded the tub like a watershed. I was the rain gauge, I was the weather vane, I was vain whether or not you deserved it. I deserved to look and to be in my own reflection.

Turn fruit, turn root, turn flesh
When we knew each other I knew you less

In the self-checkout line I check out myself. Turn fruit, turn root, turn flesh, turn to sweetness in my own hands. When we knew each other I knew you less than the seed of the seedless orange. You knew me as a kernel dense with water and ready to burst.

The places where I grow rough
Faster than I can catch up
Tear the skin off
A hundred satsumas

In the winter I know my body better than the summer– I have to feel it more, touch my skin with oil in all places but especially where it scales. This is the closest I know of myself, the places where I grow rough faster than I can catch up. I tear off the skin of a hundred satsumas, leave them smelling like winter on the couch, the kitchen table, the dresser. What does the garden give us in the storm? What grows tender and rough in the snow? What do I know?

What does the garden give us
In the storm
What grows tender and rough
In the snow

What do I know
What do I know

credits

from tinkering, released March 7, 2021

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about

Evelyn Landow Hinsdale, Illinois

musician|filmmaker
she/her

evelynlandow
@gmail.com

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